the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was born a porn star she said
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
