Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
