i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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