So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
