I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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