it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
