I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
