you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
