Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
