what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize