Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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