I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
