Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
