I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
