Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As shirtless as possible
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
