I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
