wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
