Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
