Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
