She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i out mim tonsoeep
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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