your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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