id be glad to
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
