do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
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We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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