remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
