I heard we made out
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
