Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I think my moral compass just broke
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