I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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