I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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