yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
too bad you live with your parents still
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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