Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize