dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize