just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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