We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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