He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
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I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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