How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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