My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i out mim tonsoeep
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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