Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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