Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
