I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I am spending my child support on dildos
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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