Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
