I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
