I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
