Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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