im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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