So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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