READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
