that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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