I want to have your abortion
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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