roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
