I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
me + whiskey = a bad person
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
