You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
