not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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